Just because youre winning doesnt mean youre a good player


 I woke up this morning saying that in my sleep (although its true) because id just gotten beat on a big pot while i was asleep. earlier in my dream, i was in saloon 10 near the zodiac lion machine and had fallen asleep waiting for a couple drunks to get off of the machine. i woke up and there wasnt a soul anywhere in the place and everyone had went home, and i was wondering how i would leave without being seen on security cameras and getting in serious trouble. 

Reminded me of when i was 14, and got left behind in the Great Bend public library after it had closed for the day and i had no idea it was closed and no one knew i was still inside. i wonder if my mother remembers that?

when i was homeless i often tried to hide out in a church and fall asleep ages 19-24. i would never do that now because id be worried about the police charging me with something a lot more serious than i was at that age. 

i remember the time i woke up inside a church once and stole a few dollars found in change that was lying around. then i left, went down the highway, and found a few hundred dollars lying on the side of the highway in a ditch. i went back to the church, put $20 in the offering, left a note that i stole some money earlier and then felt convicted by God, and then left the church and hitchhiked for a ride. when you are under 18, there are a TON of elderly men who enjoy giving blowjobs to little boys and elderly people arent raised with values and character like men my age are. so i was always able to get a ride.

i really should not be in deadwood doing nothing much but playing video blackjack, although by the time i leave deadwood, ill be forced to wear a mask everywhere again which no one does here. i hear if Biden gets elected, he will force all of us to wear masks, so you all need to read the article on my facebook page and show it to the Supreme Court, so he does not. but i have played a little poker. not so much at cadillac jacks, because i have lost 9 of 11 sessions there for about $1000 in losses overall. 

and about another $1500 has been spent on housing, and another $500 to Vince on my share of his expenses, and another $200 or so on food. but somehow im only out about $700 since i left Choctaw. but as far as how much was won in saloon 10, vulturable machines, and VBJ, ive got no clue. 

its a far better game in saloon ten on friday and saturday nights for texas holdem than it is at cadillac jacks $3-50 game. the game at cadillac is tight as hell and is why Bill Potts wouldnt play it and would only play in the much bigger game when Merle still used to play. i wouldve had much better results myself if i had his bankroll so i could afford to sit in the $200 minimum buyin $5-5 blinds game. he won because that was the only game he played and that is where all the action is. sometimes there is even a mandatory straddle, but its in the wrong place instead of being UTG which is so much better for action.

i see all kind of nits bad for the game only straddling the button, which sure does kill the action.

the difference between the cadillac Jacks game and the saloon ten game is the people at saloon ten dont mind giving their money away and arent trying to win. often they are only there to drink alcohol and at cadillac they are there to watch football and grind promotions. so they make no action kind of like there was never action at choctaw and it made it a horrible game. i dont know where there are still good games in the US now post virus. possibly its still decent in reno and houston and florida since its 9 handed some of their rooms. 

normally i hate being around drunk people, especially dont want them around when im playing BJ because they distract my focus on the count and cost u money. but poker they might actually give u money. i resent them too for growing up without a father, for my father was a good Christian man, or my very strict religious mother wouldnt have married him. he played guitar at church and was very good at it. sang like Johnny Cash. but his brother who always drank and was wild talked him into joining them around the time the rest of them decided to buglarize an antique shop, and he happened to get shot that night climbing out the window and died. only time in his life he had ever been in trouble and without his brothers influence it wouldnt have happened. also people arent very nice when they drink and always want to fight. 

its a shame i cannot win on acr. i was winning on bet online i had the $10 up to $61 but then i put $20 of it on acr and lost back another $15. and then i lost 5 out of 5 $3 acr plo8 on demand tourneys. even though i was in 1st once. most all of them i didnt bust out til i was the button and very short on chips, and yet in the old days of pokerstars, back when there were over 100,000 on the site which is why it was beatable back then, i used to win all the time. not much but about $20 a day, most of which i gave to lorna or britni. 

which is why i lost all interest in meeting women, and now i wont unless they make the effort instead of me. this is why i was only with claudia because she was the only one who did the work. i am living in poverty in my 50s because i didnt save up a ton of money in my 20s and 30s to play much bigger stakes such as $2-5 NL in my 50s. a good $2-5 NL player, before the virus appeared, could easily make between $75-125k a year. hundreds of thousands of people were doing so. and the reason they were making so much is they had the roll to buyin for more than the minimum and they were playing a lot of PLO too where the win rate for the average player is 10x times higher in $1-3 plo than in 1-3 NL. had i not wasted all my money sending it to women who wouldnt fall in love with me in exchange for the money (i would certainly fall in love with a woman if she was giving me money and i think almost any guy would. correct me if i am wrong) i could have at least 100k roll now to work with.

also if i knew on vbj then what i know about vbj now, i could have ran up a sizeable roll but i wasnt counting them properly back then. Cutter made a killing at the old river palms and there was 5 machines and hardly a soul ever on one of them. he made enough to cover all his sports bets. 

i hope we can all come together as americans once the supreme court decides the election must be redone. i fear the radical left will cause violence and civil war so bad the military will step in. so many democrats who believe in killing people with disabilities before they are born like me it makes it very personal and im very fearful of my safety because of democrats and how they feel about white people. how anyone couldve voted for Joe Biden just because they didnt like something Trump tweeted ill never understand. 



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